please help

I'm freshly 19 and almost 9 weeks pregnant. I was kind of excited at first but I really do not want this baby. I want to be a kid. I got pregnant the first month I was sexually active and hadn't been able to get a birth control appointment. The dad is in early 20's and super excited. He even made a comment that if I ever considered adoption he would chose the baby over me and raise it alone. And abortion isn't an option to him but I do not want this. I am not ready and capable of being a good mother yet so I don't want to put the child through that or look like a bad person. I'm about to start college and still live at home with my sick father. Please help with options or support please