the secrecy.

we are just starting out ttw and i was like oh we have lots to distract ourselves this month it should be a breeze. well laying in bed this morning i realized that next weekend is our family reunion. we go away for the entire weekend. with the entire family. every year since i turned 21 it's the only time i drink with my mother in law. cousins actually bring wine from arizona for me. this will be the first year that i will not be drinking and now i'm dreading all the questions. we have been ttc for 15 months now but this will be the first time with them not knowing if i'm pregnant or not. i know if i don't drink that everyone will notice and start getting excited. i just had a miscarriage in august and we had another one last september. i never planned on telling family until after the first trimester. ugh a perfectly good weekend is already ruined and it's still a week away.