So I can't swaddle properly, very time I try she pitches a fit, she won't let me lay her down in the bassinet and won't sleep unless she's skin to skin with me... but this has me paranoid so I haven't slept since I had her.

So my "partner" stayed with me part of the first night, the next day he brought me breakfast then left and came back around super time, I got him to get me a coffee, that night I got zero sleep feeding baby till my nipples Crack and bleed, she was gassy and eventually around 6 am the nurse comes to give her a bath: so I ask her to swaddle her good and that she's gassy... half hour goes by nurse burped her, changed her and swaddled her for me... she doesn't like to stay in the swaddle for long, but it was long enough for me to use the bathroom, feed her some more, she gets her foot pricked for genetic testing and needs a diaper change (green and sticky by now she's screaming bloody murder) and of course back on the BOOB for comfort... omg it hurts so bad, but she's eating.

By now I'm ready to cry, I want to go home, so I tell my "partner" I'll be discharged soon and to please get the apartment ready, he doesn't want to come till noon, ok whatever.

Finally get home and nothing has been done, I ask him to hold her for an hour at least so I can sleep, but he has work stuff to do first and will be back with groceries... comes back with a smoothie, but finally willing to take her for an hour, pretty much exactly an hour and I'm being woken up because she has a dirty diaper... change diaper, feed her get him to hold her for a bit while I eat, wash my face and stitches and he's gone again and she won't sleep in the bassinet or let me swaddle her, I've fed her (seriously my nipples are cracked now and hurting) I'm hungry and hot, my hair is messy, she's sleeping but only because we're skin to skin, so I can't pee or go take a stool softener, because then I'd have to put her down and wake her and she'd scream till I feed her again... the health nurse comes tomorrow morning... oh yeah and while I was at the hospital my "partner" didn't do anything including letting the cats out so of course they shit and pissed in the clothing... I am literally just crying now, I need help and I don't have any... his sister is visiting tomorrow so I'm ginger to try and get her to watch baby for an hour while I shower and eat something more substantial than a smoothie and soup.

*sad face