I need help. Please no rude comments. I've wanted a baby for so long and been trying for 3 months. A close family friend just had her second baby a few days ago. I love this kid so much already, but I couldn't hold her for the longest time because I was just so jealous. I finally held her last night without any trouble, and I held her today too (the parents even let me change her diaper! I've never changed a newborn before. I was so worried I would hurt the umbilical stump). I'm doing better, but I still tear up when I see my husband holding her, and I cry when my mom holds her because she just has this look of pure love and she wants to be a grandma and I want her to look at our baby like that.