am I right to be feeling the way I do?

Question

My husband and I have been married for a year and a few months. I've been pregnant for 7 months and a few days. Our relationship was so perfect at first. We were SO in love. We started trying to conceive...it was stressful but we got through it. But then when I got pregnant, everything changed. We started a business together. I'm there everyday (including the weekends) while he's at his job...I work my butt off despite the fact that all I want to do is sleep and enjoy my pregnancy. Anyway...ever since we invested in this new business...things between us changed. We rarely take time to enjoy each other's company...my self esteem started to diminish because I was getting bigger and bigger because of the pregnancy and he would never ever compliment me. Our sex life went from insanely good to almost nonexistent. I ALWAYS have to be the one to initiate it. I'm tired. This isn't what i signed up for. I honestly thought that I would enjoy every step of this pregnancy, but it hasn't been the case because I feel like I'm alone. Nothing I do satisfies him anymore. He always makes me feel like I have to work harder. I've had a really tough pregnancy...the first and second trimester were extremely hard...I barely ate anything because I would vomit everything. 
Anyways...I honestly don't know what to do.im starting to regret having started the business with him. I feel like he's always disappointed in me. We are about to be parents...but I don't know if we are strong enough as a couple.

Answer

Take a deep breath and step back for a few moments. Think about the reasons why you love you husband. Marriage is hard and the first year is extremely difficult. You are settling into a new role and that in itself is stressful. Add in a baby and a new business and no wonder your having a hard time.

Marriage is going to have ups and downs, times where you are on the same page and times when one of you is "in it" more than the other. You made a commitment to each other and you love each other. It is so important to communicate and spend time together even when things are crazy.

My husband and I have been married three years and I have two daughters from previous marriages. Our first year married was the hardest. We had some doozy fights, but at the end of the day, no matter how mad we were at each other, we both reminded ourselves how much we love each other and that we are in this as a team forever. We have been through a lot of ups and downs, and it has made us closer.

If you let it in your head that there is an option to give up, it will be so easy to throw on the towel. Find ways to reconnect and communicate with him. I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I hope things get better and you two can find your way back to a good place.

Answer

Your feelings are never right or wrong... they just are. It sounds like you've had a tough time and it's been a busy and unpleasant transition. While I can't speak to your strength as a couple, you obviously have love for one another. 
Let yourself feel your feelings, remember, this too shall pass, and new and different joys and challenges are just around the corner.
I know this time feels really high-stakes, but try to take it a day at a time and be kind to yourself. Communicate with clear specifics to your husband about your needs (logistical, emotional support, listening ear, etc...)
There is a lot of fear and anxiety about all the changes happening and those still to come, if you can keep an open and honest dialogue about those fears, maybe it will feel more like a team effort.
Best of luck and take care of yourself!

Answer

Could be a ton of stress weighing on him...from the new business to the new baby and juggling everything in between. Not to mention being newly married...it is NOT happily ever after, it was the roughest year or two of my life but we're stronger than ever because we fought like hell to make it a partnership and figure out how each other works. Keep barreling through it and keep your marriage the center of it all, it's critical when you're going through these bumpy and confusing times

Answer

The only way he is going to know this is how you feel is that you tell him don't forget he might be feeling overwhelmed with becoming a parent as well but the key is to listen to one another never point blame or go into what you do that he doesn't (vice verse) but communication and listing is the only way to get past this good luck and hope it works out ok

Answer

I think men don't realize how hard pregnancy is. When the baby's here I'm sure that it'll be different. I just take it as right now the baby is my responsibility because he doesn't understand being pregnant isn't a walk in the park. Than once the baby is here he's our responsibility. I've always been told your become a mother when you find out your pregnant and the husbands become fathers when the baby is born. My husband is supper excited and loves his baby but his schedule/ life hasn't really changed yet where mine has.

Answer

Things change. I basically don't see my SO from Sunday - Friday afternoon due to work schedules. He was spending the rest of his time with his son (from a previous marriage). I really started to feel neglected because I'd ask him to send the kid to bed 20 min early so we could have some alone time and he would refuse!! One night I went off on him. He didn't understand that I wasn't jealous of his son, I just needed some time too. Since I told him he has made a complete change and now will spend time with me alone. Sometimes men just don't get it and you have to explain it to them

Answer

Alright so you need to take him aside and explain everything to him exactly as you did here and let him know you need him and aren't feeling loved or appreciated and maybe hes overwhelmed too that's a lot of changes happening in so little time I'm sure its just a misunderstanding don't worry

am I right to be feeling the way I do?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey