BFN and venting

Drella
Me and hubby have been ttc for nearly two years. Just found out this month I'm fine, but he has low motility and morphology but the count is fine. 
I'm just sad right now. Yes God has been answering my other prayers. I'll be starting school next month and I got a new job (left a very very stressful one). I've been asking for this child for sooooo long. We are at the point of IUI. I can't afford it anytime soon. I'm staring at my xmas tree (no gifts since we are saving $$$) just thinking to myself "I just wanted one gift.....a BFP". 
I had a BFN and 9 and 10dpo. I know I tested early but seeing other ppl get bfps at 7-8-9 DPO had me tempted.