I've been ttc for 3 years and the process has been heartbreaking.

The closest I have been to a bfp is getting an evap line on a hpt. And do you know what, I have kept that silly test because for a few fleeting moments it made me so happy. Kind of sad eh?

So I try to never let hope in, it just hurts too much. I avoid testing and try to avoid msg boards. This month hope has crept back in.. and I'm worried.

First cycle taking femura and bd has been timed really well. Dh has kept his performance anxiety at bay and I have been posting here, trawling boards and finding cycle buddies.

Is it just going to be another month of heartbreak and sorrow? Another month where my hope is dashed and af comes visiting? Hope is so cruel and opens me up to such pain. But hope is also what keeps me going, hope tells me maybe this month, try harder and maybe just maybe one day my hopes will come true.