At breaking point

I'm seriously at wits end with my mom and my husband fighting and not getting along. After I had my first baby every thing was fine up until she took her somewhere and he didn't know where she was. And freaked out and it made it worse because she said she can take her anywhere without telling us and what not. So every since then they have to been on good terms. They never have because she feels he doesn't make enough to provide everything I need when he does she wanted me to find someone who was rich and not average if that makes sense.we agreed she could see the baby still but she couldn't babysit until he felt she is making it a huge issue saying that I'm being mean and what not and not being fair to my grandparents. Funny thing is my grandparents see my daughter every time they come down here and I was planning a trip to go back home to spend time with them. I have tried to get them to get alone but I can't do it anymore. It got to the point to where she told me to choose sides her or my husband. Any advice please or is there any one else who goes through this?