Abused

When I was a child, I grew up poor right at the poverty line. Parents income less than $25,000 well it was a angry household my dad was drunk he hit my mom she took it out on the kids.

I grew up we moved somewhere racist. My teacher told me welcome to America.(he thought I came to America illegal btw I was born here)

I have had people mean mad dog me(look at me so hateful) I was in a interracial relationship and the looks were just awful.

The guy beat me up, forced me into sex. violated my beliefs. I was 22 weeks pregnant and he walked out on me.

I cry, I have found my life to be hard, with strangers and sometimes the people who I put my trust in my ex.

I had my baby but sometimes I am over emotional and I don't know if all of these things have hurt me. My mom said the guy broke me because I'm not happy like I used to be I don't talk to people anymore and I let what he did to me bring me sadness and I cried over him. She said I need to stand up for myself. Do you guys think I should find a psychologist. I thought I was getting help but she doesn't think I'm ok. I hold my hands together when we go out, that's body language for "I'm reassuring myself I am ok." She says I need to be confident not look at the ground or hide behind her.

How do I believe in me again or trust.

I don't handle bullies well, I never have and when I go out in public I don't look people in there eyes because of what my ex boyfriend did to me and I knew him for years what craziness can a stranger cause. You see the news headlines so I mind my own business and leave my mom says that I should be more sociable.

I hate confrontation. This guy stole my parking for example, I just parked somewhere else. A woman told me not to breastfeed so I left. How do I stand up for myself