How do I do this without being mean?

Question

Well, my bf and i had a beautiful baby boy at the beginning  of Sept. 8 pounds 12 oz. 
The delivery  was pretty easy but i did have some tearing and my midwife gave me some stitches. And i did get a bad hemorrhoid that is just now almost gone. It's  only been 4 weeks since i had Andrew and my boyfriend everyday ... talks about how he cant wait to have sex again. He says it multiple  times a day and usually  i dont say anything back to him. If i do i tell  him i can't  and he says i know but im going crazy.

Most of the time I don't say anything because i dont want to end up being mean and saying something that i will regret. I JUST had a baby and he promised  me he would be understanding  about not being able to have sex after having him. 
All while i was pregnant  i told him how it was a concern of mine...because  he would be waiting a while before sex again...  he promised  he would be okay. He promised  he would  be understanding. He told me right after giving birth. He wouldn't  even be able to look at me sexually after seeing me push him out...but now here it is and within days of having him has been telling me how he wants to have sex.

Any suggestions on how to talk about it without  being mean?

Answer

No...I'd just tell him to f#@k off lol. You just pushed a human out of your vagina. Tell him to sort himself out!

Answer

Just talk to him. 
Make it about you and how you feel though. 
"I feel this" instead of "you're doing this" 
He's a guy, he doesn't know what pushing a child out feels like. 
He wants sex. It's normal for a guy and he might not even realize it's hurting you. 
He might think he's just trying to build anticipation and think it might be boosting your confidence.

Just talk to him about how you feel when he makes sexual comments so often!
Let him know it's okay once and a while (until you're ready) but not daily.

Answer

My husband says something multiple times a day about how he can't wait to have sex again and how sexy I am etc. he knows we have to wait but he still fantasizes and is still a horny guy. It is normal. I don't get mad I usually reply with a playful comment or something dirty back and we change the subject. As long as your bf is understanding and isn't getting mad at you for not giving in to his comments I don't think u should get mad at him. Take it as a compliment he still finds you sexy. There are other things u can do to satisfy him in the mean time.

Answer

Compromise compromise compromise. Tell him doctors orders no sex until 6 weeks, that at the very least, then also remind him you need to be mentally healed/prepared/ready too & that time will come. But in the meantime how about a blow/hand job instead etc.

Answer

I understand both sides. He wants to be intimate with you and men have needs. Just wait til your checkup and if you feel ready take it slow. But if you keep him waiting too long to get even a blow job it's gonna make your guys relationship harder. Especially after a baby. Intimacy and making sure your husband/man knows he's important too is very essential. Talk to him. Compromise. Find a middle road like hey if we can wait til 8 weeks pp we can have sex again so you have more time. Don't let him feel like it'll never happen again though. Having a baby is just as stressful on dad's believe it or not as it is us moms. Good luck. Personally I couldn't wait to get back in the sex saddle and we started as soon as we could.

Answer

I totally support you waiting without having to give him a blow job if you don't want to. Just sayin. He may have needs, but you have greater needs right now. Your body needs to rest. There is a reason Dr's order no sex until 6 weeks. You're maximized right now physically and emotionally with having had a baby and now having to take care of a newborn. Sometimes as grown ups, we have to wait to get things we want.  When my husband would mention it,  I would say 'I know,  I miss you too, I can't wait until I'm ready to have sex again'. I didn't want to give him oral sex yet,  so I didn't. He survived and yes my husband got laid again. But enough of the poor husband man has needs so do it for him even if you don't want to crap, every relationship has compromise of course, but if my husband had a medical reason not to do something he normally does, take the trash out etc and his dr told him he can't be on his feet, I wouldn't be whining to him about it or expect him to do it anyway. State your needs respectfully, but honor your needs right now momma

How do I do this without being mean?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey