I hate my life! I want out! I don't know how to do anything any more. I know I haven't been okay for a long time. And things are not getting better. My mom died, my grandma hate my boyfriend. And tells everyone how horrible he is. And how i praise him. I don't know how to feel any more after my mom passed away 2 weeks ago. I feel like their is a cloud over me. Aug 2015 I got pregnant and had a miscarriage. My grandma hates him ever since. Makes remarks how he is wrong how show up with ice cream for me. Ever since my mom died nothing feels the same. I feel like I want to cry all the time. I feel more shit is getting thown at me. Sometimes I feel like I am going to break. I have no freedom. I always feel I am on a time limit. Ever since Aug. My mom passing took something away from me. I don't even know how to actually express myself or how I really feel