Marital woes.
Last night, my husband put two Cactus Cooler cans in the fridge before we had a dinner of hamburgers and fries. Once they were cold, I followed him to the kitchen to grab one, noting he had placed two into the refrigerator but that he hadn't put one Cactus Cooler and one Coca Cola (my favorite). Nonetheless, I was thankful for the gesture so I took it.
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We ate while watching our favorite show, and as it concluded, I took a final sip of my drink.
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He looks at me, perplexed, and says, "Why are you drinking my Cactus Cooler?"
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"I thought you put in one for each of us?"
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"No, that one was for me too. I didn't think you'd want anything."
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It's been over twelve hours and my heart is still incredibly sad. It's not about the drink itself; it's that for he didn't even think twice to put in one for his pregnant wife or to even ask if I might want one if he wasn't sure.
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I always ensure his laundry is done and put away, that he has a meal to come home to, I surprise him with his favorite games and sometimes with snacks and flowers - and last night gave me a heavy dose of reality that my husband no longer does anything with me in mind.
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Today marks the beginning of my third trimester and I have never felt so alone. I know that he loves and cares for me, but the sweet man that once reciprocated my love with surprising me with an iced coffee, a washed car or even just a shoulder rub has become complacent in our marriage.
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I have communicated my hurt to him, and he apologized, but I can't bring myself to talk to him further today. Today will be a day I take for myself to do things solely for myself to reset. I just hope he will not only see my hurt, but recognize that it's not a superficial one.
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Feeling lonely today. Hoping it will pass soon.
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