how helpful is your SO??

Question

I just gave birth Monday to my sweet baby girl.
I just feel like my SO does absolutely nothing but hold her occasionally. I know he can't wake up in the middle of the night to feed, because we are exclusively breast feeding for at least 6 months.
But when I wake up to feed he could get up and change her diaper after she is done eating. He doesn't even change diapers during the day. Every tom I ask him to he complains that he only ever gets poopy diapers. Well she's a baby...she shits a lot.
I don't have control over that. Just change the diaper, it's nktna huge deal.
He sleeps in until around 10am, but I get up at 7 to take care of the animals and tidy up the house...even though I was the one up all night feeding and caring for baby.

It's just so exhausting. He is like this and hasn't gone back to work yet..when he goes back from his paternity leave next week i hate to think how much more work will be shoved off onto me.
It's like pulling teeth trying to get him to do ANYTHING!!!

How helpful is your SO? How do you get him to help you more around the house or with baby??

Answer

I'm a stay at home mom so I don't expect much of my husband since the house and baby are my job. He does 1 feeding a day usually the bedtime feeding so I can finish up our dinner. Around the house his only responsibilities are taking the dog out before bed and taking the trash out.

Answer

It's all about communication & being encouraging, most guys don't know what they're doing with babies & need a bit of a push. The first week he took off from work & I just let him rest for most of the time. But he helped with cooking or laundry, or just small things as I would teach him how to change the baby & about feeding. I would make sure that I would pump enough so that if I needed a break he could feed her.

Now that he's back at work I take the night shift & most of the day but once he's home I take a break & he takes care of her. We alternate for diaper changes if needed. & if there's a poopie diaper while it's his turn and I just go & help him or stand there for moral support.

Answer

Sounds like I could have wrote this. It is very tiring, you're right. I think a lot of men are like this. Just think of how good it will feel when your child gets older and automatically goes to you for comfort though. I assume my SO will get jealous and start doing more with our son when he sees that he favors me.

Answer

My husband will do something when I ask...this is all new to him  (me too,but I know babies)...so he doesn't necessarily know where his place is yet.

I was up with the baby all night, so he woke up at 630 to take care of him while I slept for 4 hours. Well, let's be clear...I woke him up 😁

I think it's all about communication. If I wasn't vocal about what I needed, he wouldn't do half the stuff he does now. Only because he doesn't know to do it.  I'm also very careful not to criticize him. The baby went through 3 pairs of pjs this morning because he spit up on them. All I could think of was laundry, but my husband took changing him upon himself. So I didn't say anything about the laundry.

It just takes them more time.

Answer

If I was being totally honest to myself I would say he does nothing and isn't helpful at all. But because I know this mainly due to the fact that he is terrified of this tiny little person we made, I'll let it slide. Soon it will all be "dads problem" haha. It'll balance out once our son isn't breastfed because right now I am the sole source of food and comfort (he refuses to take bottles or pacifiers)

how helpful is your SO??

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