Help. ?

This will be long. But please read

So anyway I suffer from ibs which is irritable bowel syndrome and mine is diarrhea it all started 3 years ago I had severe depression anxiety and stress so that made my stomach messed up and I developed ibs well a year ago I completely got rid of my depression and anxiety but after getting ibs I developed OCD my OCD fear is contamination like germs and especially poop like it's disgusting to me well now I still have ibs I get diarrhea at least once every week or 2 weeks and it sucks because it causes me to not go out alot cause it's so urgent like I get scared to get the urge out in stores or something . So now my ibs is pretty much psychological like it's just in my head I wake up thinking about it and go to sleep thinking about it I wake up hoping to not get diarrhea everyday and usually every time I eat outside food it gives me diarrhea and before I got this I was able to eat anything and not get sick . It's just so debilitating I don't have a job because of this either I'm scared . And like I try to not think about it or try to do relaxing exercises and NOTHING works I also have this ritual where I only poop once a day in the morning and then shower if I poop more than once it's usually diarrhea that second time and I go shower again it's pretty exhausting

. Anyone can help I would appreciated so much like ways to get it out of my head I Wana work go to school because I have kids but as dumb as this sounds it's actually debilitating and affects with my goals I want to accomplish. I just want to be normal again.

*no i can't go to a therapist or psychologist because we can't afford it right now