Hi, my name is Leanna and I suffer daily from major depression and severe general anxiety. I'm medicated, thankfully, because I don't think I'd be here if I wasn't.

My... status, I guess... is unstable. There is so much stress going on in my life- can't afford bills, can't get my truck fixed because it got broken into, can't replace GPS they took, can't find a job, don't qualify for state or federal help programs because DH "makes too much", we're moving the loan for the truck to a new bank and filing bankruptcy in the next week. Fingers crossed that they don't take the truck anyway because then me finding a job is pointless because I wouldn't be able to get to it. If we can't make rent next month, we'll be on the street with our 3 year old son, 2 cats, and our dog. We barely made rent this month, had to go to the food banks so we'd have food for us and the pets. DH is a hard working man who loves us dearly... but he has a temper. The smallest thing will send him into a rage. Can't find the specific pot he wants to make dinner in? Rage and slam things. No money in the account? Rage and yell at me, even though all I spend on is bills. Animals underfoot in our 1000sq ft apartment? Rage and yell at them to get out (then our dog will hide in my bed, the cats wedge themselves behind my headboard). Therapy isn't an option because his work schedule is basically "on call" so we don't know more than a week in advance tops where he'll be at what time.

I'm struggling so hard. Two days ago I called my dad in tears because I felt like such a failure at life. Yesterday I called my mom in years because I feel like I'm losing my grip on things. Today I cried alone in my bed when my son went to his room for quiet time while his father raged and slammed stuff in the kitchen. I can't do this anymore. I feel like there's just one more thread keeping me hanging on and that thread is my son. I can't bear the thought of him growing up without his mother, as messed up as I am.

I don't know why I'm writing this. I just feel so alone because I have no friends where we live.