All this time... & now I feel free.?

I was hurt for such a long time, he destroyed who I was. All the confidence I had inside was shot down for 2 years, and here it is I've felt sorry for myself. Wondering why he treats me so bad? Why he dislikes me so much? Am I that horrible of a person? & the truth was, he hated himself and he took that out on me. He wanted to bring me down, because he was miserable with himself. I can't say if it was jealousy or what, but it's was definitely something. You didn't physically abuse me, which I'm thankful for but you abused me mentally. That can take a person into so many different directions. Inside, I felt horrible, to the point I didn't feel my own damn heart beating, and I would do anything just to feel that. I've pushed great guys away because I was so scared they would do what you did. & the fact was I wasn't hurting them, I was hurting myself. People could tell how weak and sad I was because my whole body launguage expressed that. Honestly, I was scared I was pregnant by you, the night I left you for good.. I was so terrified thinking what will I do, I'm only 20 and I don't want a kid. I prayed, and thanked God I wasn't pregnant by you. A child isn't a bad thing, a child is a blessing, but I never want to bring a child in the world who's own father didn't want them born or have anything to do with them. Now, I smile, I blocked your number, and I'm moving forward, I feel good about myself and I have met a guy who believes in me and wants me to be that confident young woman I need to be.. Now, I can't tell you how this may go, but I can say we are friends and we are taking things slow, I almost lost him by my insecurities, but I'm only moving forward. He may not be the guy, but I won't doubt him, I can only give him trust and be equal toward him until he gives me reason not to. You were a lesson, and you were temporary, God put you in my life to show me something, and you did, firstly; you showed me how a man doesn't treat a woman but the main thing you showed me is how STRONG of a woman I can really be! I wish the best for you though, but this is my goodbye, because I am now free.?✌️?