I am tired of seeing and hearing about one of my roommates having twins and anything to do with it. I am a lesbian and almost 40. I have someone who will donate so I can have a child. However, I need to get back on my meds, and get checked out just to make sure everything is still reproductively ok. That's difficult with no insurance and paying for just about ever utility bill plus food in a house of six adults (three working, one on disability, one waiting for a disability decision, and one a stay at home father), a five year old and twins on the way.

I'm just really upset and jealous all the time. I can't even stand to look at my roommate or be in the same room with her. I'm not even happy for her, her husband, or five year old.

Yes. That makes me a horrible person. No. I don't care.

I just wonder when I get to at least TRY to do something that makes me happy instead of working two jobs and sacrificing for everyone else. That's been my life for years; even before my current family situation.

I love everyone in my home, but I just can't see past my own hurt right now in not being able to be part of the TTC or pregnancy club.