Sharing story of my loss.
First time I share my story. Being that today was the day I was supposed to deliver my baby boy by c-section, I wanted to talk about my loss. On July27th I was admitted to the hospital with a severe form of Preeclampsia. I had been having symptoms for 2 weeks’ prior such as bad headaches, vision disturbances, and swelling but was evaluated and misdiagnosed with just it being regular pregnancy symptoms. The morning that I was admitted I had a blistering headache, nausea and vomiting, right upper quadrant pain and my blood pressure was through the roof (205/120). I was immediately placed on Magnesium to prevent seizure and coma and given steroid injections just in case I had to deliver my son early. After 2 days of my blood pressure not going down and my son failing his Biophysical exam my OB decided it was time to deliver my baby. Needless to say I was devastated and scared because I was only 28 weeks. My baby boy was delivered at 7 am weighing only 1lb 14oz, he was so tiny. At first he did so well, he was only on a ventilator for a little for a day and they said he was strong enough to be put on a CPAP machine, my husband and I were so optimistic and full of hope. Everything was going but but then he became ill and was put back on the ventilator and at 100% O2. We were told he had an infection and that they were doing everything they could to help him fight it. After a day of praying with family, friends, and our Pastors we turn off the machines and he died in my arms. I wanted to just die, I had so much grief. No mother should have to bury her child. I had so much faith in God and really believed that he would save him. I was angry with God for a bit but I knew deep down that it was part of His plan. I still don’t understand why he took my baby boy back, but I know that his word states that he has awesome plans for us, plans for our good and not destruction. I take comfort in this promise and in the peace he gives me daily, but I’d be lying if I said I have moved on from my son’s death. I don’t think I ever will. I love him so much and my heart will never be the same. Felt good to say this and hope it can inspire someone in knowing that life can and does go on after the loss of a child. Thanks for listening and God Bless.
Comment
Add Comment
Let's Glow!
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.
