Anxiety is killing me!! Please help!!!

So I have anxiety. Decently bad but 10billion times better than it was when I had daughter. Anywho my period is due in 5 days so I figured I would try a test because I seriously can't handle the wait anymore. I feel like I'm gonna burst. It was negative... I think. If I turn the rest a certain way in the light there is a super super light pink line and then it disappears!!!!  Is my mind playing games on me? Or is a super faint positive and obviously test in a few days or one of those stupid evap lines that everyone talks about? I don't even know what am evap line is!!! I really just want to know so I can either start baby planning or doing my diet and begin my 75 lb weight loss journey. I really don't remember this much stress with my daughter!!!