My dad died: It's all my fault ..

It's all my fault. Seriously. If I would have never let him leave the house that day, he would still be here. He was so weak, but I still let him leave the house. He needed up in the hospital for 2 weeks, got a bed sore, went to rehab, ended up in ICU, two days later, and he wasn't even there a whole day before my DADDY WAS GONE. When I got there he was breathing a bit on his own, before I walked in, my mom said he wasn't doing too good.. but I didn't know it was this bad. Then they told us to leave.. my mom knew when we went back, it was the end. Lord knows I cried. He couldn't breathe on his own, 100% oxygen, said there was nothing they could do for him, my dad didn't last for 2 hours, two hours seemed like 5 minutes. I didn't know what to do, my daddy was slipping away. I was mad at him, I was mad at everything, I wanted to take the mask off and let him go. I had turned against him.. I turned my body to the side, because I was DONE, I was disgusted with the situation, sadly with him and most importantly myself. But I got over it, I rubbed him, held his hand, rubbed his back.  His chest had stop moving completely but he was still here... I held his hand until his blood pressure was 5/2.. and so forth, it broke my heart. I whispered to him, talked to him, and told him it was time for him to come home with me, I shook him, i cried for him, I laid my head by him. I thought if I talked to him, he would come back to me, ITS NOT LIKE THE MOVIES, but I noticed when I talked to him his blood pressure went up. And then, I was like he's suffered long enough with lung cancer, I told him him "it's ok daddy you don't have to fight anymore you can go home, it's ok" and from then it just went down, he could barely open his eyes but when I said that, he looked at me . I feel so guilty. And so bad. Not just because of this, because I took him for granted, and was mean to him sometimes and didn't spend much time with him.i stayed on the go, but I always texted him and ask him if he was ok, just like he asked.  And it hurts so bad. But I have to think, that he knows that I love him. I never understood love..I'll say it, but until he died I never understood what love was, how it hurt and to know if I love someone. My dad fought a good fight, to be 75, fought for 1 year 6 months, they gave him 6 months to 3 years. My daddy never missed chemo and staying strong and saying he was going to beat CANCER, he did. It didn't beat him, he beat it. My daddy passed because of sepsis, not lung cancer. All he wanted was to live to see me turn 18, and he did. Lived 8 months and 16 days past the day. He prayed for it, he wanted and he did it. I'm 18 almost 19. He saw me graduate, God made it possible because I know he prayed everyday for it.