She's throwing my shower this weekend and insisted on having my 5yo stepson be apart or it. I didn't want him there just because every time we decorate for a party he has distorted stuff before it was done. At the gender reveal he pulled a whole tablecloth with food and drinks off.

Well now shes worried that he's bring excluded and she wants Me to put toys for him on the registry and is calling it a birthday party for him.

UPDATE:

Okay so for starts my stepson just had his birthday party in July. He actually had 5 party because he has so much family. Not including the toys he got from her party he received over 100$. I told her I wasn't going to put the toys on my registry because its not a party for him. So she texted all 7 of her sisters and close family friends asking them to bring a gift for him as well. Today after we picked up the 200$ cake for the shower we went to the store for last minute things. She ordered him a cake for just him that says we love you! Then has tractor's on it. I tried explaining to her he doesn't need any of this. His birthday and Christmas are 6 months apart and on e this baby's here he's not getting presents on her birthday and same goes for her. They need to understand not everything is about them and they need to be happy with what they have. She seriously doesn't get what I'm saying at all. They live 8 hours away so its not like I have to deal with it alot but he turns into a selfish brat anyways when he's here and she feeds into it with this crap.