How are you all coping with abortion?

I'm 22 and it's been since April that I terminated my pregnancy at 5 weeks. I regret it so much. The reason why I did it was because I didn't want my whole family to hate me. Growing up my mom told me she would kill me if I ever got pregnant before marriage. I still live with my parents and I'm in college. Also, my family never approved of my fiancé of 6 years because of his race and he is from a poor family. But that doesn't matter to me because he is very hard working, ambitious, and we love each other. When we found out I was pregnant we were so happy and cried of joy but I was also so terrified at the same time and I felt that I HAD to get it done. I felt stuck and had no choice. I feel disgusting and miserable because now I'd be 7 months and due in December 22 right before Christmas. This year I am not looking forward to Christmas without my baby. I hate myself so much for this...