ftm mom blues/rant

Abby
First of all I love being a mommy It's really changed my life at 19 years old but my son has recently started getting super attached I can't put him down so that means I can't pump enough he won't take My boob I'm running outta back up milk And plus I'm loosing milk day by day somedays I can't even eat I have to force myself just to eat 
I don't want to ask my mom for help because she works 13 hours shifts and I don't work so I should be able to do this by myself but it's pissing me off that I have no help my ex should've been here to help but no he got on drugs and started beating on me and i just want to scream his ass should've been here helping me but no he choose to get into drugs !