I've had two miscarriages and one healthy baby. Recently, a friend found out some devastating news in late-term pregnancy that ended with the termination of her very loved, very wanted baby. This all came at the height of the witch hunt that is late-term abortion, and I live in a very conservative area.

At the moment, I'm overwhelmingly feeling bad for my friend, who is going through the hardest of emotions after having made a decision she didn't want to have to make. But even more, I'm terrified of finding out similar news and needing to make the same decision. I can't even look at my feed, which is full of horrible, false stuff about "murdering" babies.

And I'm waking up with nightmares that I stab myself in the stomach and strange nonsense coming straight from all of this absurd anxiety. I want this child desperately, dearly. I love it, my husband, and our son without end.

I have an appointment on Wednesday with my high risk doctor, and I'm going to ask what I can do. I've tried meditating and praying, I've tried breathing exercises, I left Facebook so I didn't have to see post after post about abortion, and this all hits me the worst at night. I'm up basically like a walking zombie from nightmares between 2-4 am every morning and it makes all of it worse because I'm exhausted. My heart races and anxiety attacks that I NEVER have when not pregnant hit hard core.

It's making me feel like a crappy mom because I'm so unable to kick out these horrifying thoughts that I'm getting these attacks.

It's borderline OCD fear (thoughts) and while I've dealt with it on a minor scale in the past, this is taking it to a whole new level of unhealthy. Does anyone have any advice about managing uncontrollable anxiety during pregnancy? Because this is getting ridiculous.

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