If your husband threatened divorce every time there was a big fight, packed his stuff and really made you think he was leaving, but then realized he was being a jerk and apologized. Would you consider that abusive?

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Yes I consider emotional abuse bc he's purposely toying with your emotions making you think he's leaving you when he has no intention. If I were you, next time he does that,  open the door for him and tell him if he wants to leave so bad, there's the door. Don't let him play you like that. Also sounds like you guys would really benefit from counseling so you can learn how to better communicate with eachother.

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Abusive? No. 
Manipulative? YES.

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Sounds like a rocky relationship with limited coping and processing skills.

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Threatening to end a relationship to get your way is emotional abuse. It's also highly manipulative and just in general cruel.

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I dont see it as abusive, just incredibly immature

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Abusive not necessarily but immature definitely. Sounds like he needs to learn how to grow up and communicate so you can work things out rather than fight. Been married 14 years, communication is huge.

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Not a chance. I would consider that a big ass tantrum! My Oah has done this so many times and come crawling back. Makes me fell so empowered because he clearly can't live without me

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Mentally abusive and manipulative is a better description, but yes.

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Yes that's abusive and manipulative. Counseling is not recommended for abusive situations. Just leave

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I'm going to address this from the other point of view because I've been that person. I get super emotional and freak out and threaten to leave, give back my ring, some towns drive away for awhile. I never do it to be abusive or even really "manipulate" him, it's always because I have trouble with coping with my strong emotions and anxiety. I feel awful after and I've been working very hard to not do it because I love my husband.
 He may not be abusive, he may really not be able to cope. Emotional trauma or other issues may be present. Talk to him, let him know how you feel, and suggest help if he's open to talking with you. I can't tell you that it'll get better because if he doesn't want to change he won't, so you'll have to make the choice whether you can handle it or not. Good luck

If your husband threatened divorce every time there was a big fight, packed his stuff and really made you think he was leaving, but then realized he was being a jerk and apologized. Would you consider that abusive?

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