17 years together. Im young enough to start over. Im out of love. We grew up together from 16 years old to now, and we are going into two different directions. We have been, for years, but i've been fighting the inevitable. Im almost done with school. When we started out i was acting as HIS lawyer, taking care of every irresponsible thing a man in his 20's does. He is now way more responsible but.... BUT.... lateral to where he has been, without growth. I want a better life. Im the only one in my fam to go to college, grad school, now law school. I put up with so much...... cheating, abuse, cheating, abuse, constantly wiping his ass.... finally after 10 years of hell, i cheated and i havent lived it down yet! We never built a friendship, or foundation. We moved in after 6 months and the rollar coaster began. I immediately went into caretaker mode. He put me thru HELL. We have a 9 year old now.... and im obsessed with her having her dad around, since i never did. I am starting to see that it's not healthy and the constant arguing is ruinnung our daughter's spirit. 3 years ago she witnessed him hit me. I should have left then. She was heartbroken and constantly asked me why. I chose to forgive him. He stopped drinking that day, and joined a church group, became a health junkie and turned himself around. Now.... there is loyalty and no abuse and he is the man he should have always been, but the resentment has made me soooo numb im afraid there is nothing left. Im selfish.... after 17 years - all my hard work and staying by his side - what if he now gives the best of the best of himself to the next woman. Im screaming ring the alarm, like Beyonce. But on the inside i dont think he will ever make me happy. Too much history. Too much resentment. Too much cultural differences and clashing. I never was in love. I needed to be needed. Now, i need to be cared for, and he is still incapable. Im stuck ladies. Raw advice is appreciated!!