giving birth at home FEAR

So I've been to the hospital a few times for high blood pressure and contractions and I always get sent home. I'm a couple days shy of 38 weeks, and I have a serious fear that I'm gonna go in real labor and not go into the hospital for fear of being sent home and deliver my child at home. I live about 30 mins from the hospital as well as my hubbys job is 45 mins away so that's  a lot of time there.. it's becoming a real fear the closer I get to my due date😩.. am I crazy??