why didn't I realize this before I got pregnant...?

Question

Why didn't I realize that my brother and his girlfriend were horrible parents..? I used to be super close with them until I got pregnant.. After I got pregnant I look back at all the the things they've done.. Or all the things they haven't done.. For my niece and nephew. They haven't had any of their shots because they were too lazy to get out of the house.. They neglected both of their newborn babies, and she blamed it on "postpartum depression" and he can't keep a job because he's too lazy to get up in the morning and call in.. Every time I'd visit, I found myself caring for their children because they wouldn't do it... They didn't feed their children... And I feel so bad for not even noticing before I got pregnant.. Maybe I just wasn't paying attention.. I feel like an awful person.

Answer

Um postpartum depression is very real. I don't know what to tell you about the rest, but she could have very well had ppd and doesn't need your judgment.

Answer

Idk who to feel bad for, the people you are talking about, or you. It's not fair for you to judge and I'm hoping all of what you're saying aren't just accusations out of spite. I also hope you don't end up with PPD because it is a serious thing. I'll be praying for y'all.

Answer

Becoming a parent makes you realize so much more then ever before. You change (or you should) your thinking, actions, what you say everything! Be careful not to judge but definitely consider observing their current parenting style. If it's still the same consider reporting them for neglect! Not getting immunized because of laziness is ridiculous! If they are not maintaining their well child checks it's unsafe and should be reported! If they are choosing not to immunize but the kids are being medically observed for growth and well being then that's their choice. Glad your planning on parenting different! Congrats on your new lil one!

Answer

I think some of the things your saying is horrible. Postpartum depression is real. If it's severe, it makes you literally hate your newborn. I've been there. Some people dont take their kids for shots, doesn't mean they are neglected. You don't live with them, you only know what you see when you are there. My mom cares for my kids more than i do when she's here. Why? Because she assumes they are hungry, need changed, bathed, etc. i'm their mother, i know. But because she's not around 24/7, she assumes.

Answer

Almost this exact thing happened to me. I absolutely hate my brother for how he treats his children now. These people judging you don't get it. "Postpartum depression" is a real thing, but THERE ARE TWO PARENTS FOR A REASON. And she continues to blame her neglectfulness on PPD. 4 years later. It's not an excuse. They didn't feed their children, they did drugs right in front of their children, put everything before their children, and when I say something about "Oh my god stop being so judgmental" Their almost 4 year old says probably about 5 words total. Do they notice? Idk. Do they care? No. They didn't bathe their children, I always found myself doing that because they wanted to be held and they were just filthy. They didn't wake up with their kids, which is why two of my moms dogs are dead, because their toddler let the dogs out. You know, all of these people can judge you, but I get it. After I got pregnant, I realized what horrible people they are. I have considered call CPS on them many many times, and the only reason I haven't is because they are living with my mom. I know my mom wakes up with them and feeds them, but when they get their own place (if they do, he can't keep a job for more than 2 weeks either) I will definitely be reporting them.

Answer

You need to tell them. It's the same situation with my brother and sister in law. They have a 13 year old and a 9 year old and they've always been neglectful our family has had many talks with them and they agree they need to be better parents but they never change. If they don't want to change then there is nothing much you can do except be there for the children

Answer

You have tunnel vision

why didn't I realize this before I got pregnant...?

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