how long did it take for you to get over a Miscarriage?

I was near 5 months pregnant and going in for my first ultrasound on October 14th... That day was supposed to be the happiest day ever because I was to finally find out the gender... Unfortunately it turned out to be my worst nightmare and the first time I have ever seen my man of 3yrs cry, he's usually calm and composed even in the worst situations, but we were VERY excited for our first child together and we were even going to buy some baby stuff soon... The night of October 18th I was rushed to emergency, my water broke then shortly I was feeling excruciating contractions, 10mins later I was bleeding out and was going in and out of consiousness and my heart started to difibulate... I nearly died giving birth and my hunny saw everything... He looks at me differently and treats me like I'm fragile, I can't stop crying every night now and I just want to forget everything that happened... Each morning when I wake up I wake up finding that I'm caressing my belly like I had done everyday :'( how long did it take for you ladies to move on? I can't handle this emotional pain... I was finally going to have everything I ever wanted and now out of nowhere it's gone, I feel empty physically and emotionally I'm crushed :'(