Heart broken

Thursday night I started to have cramping on my right side. I have had little cramping before so I thought it was another early pregnancy symptom. Friday the cramping came and went throughout the day. But on Saturday the pain got worse. My fiancé was traveling for work. I let him know that after I got off work I was going to the emergency room to go check it out. I had no bleeding so I had no real cause for concern. At least that's what I thought. 

They ran some test and did an ultrasound being only 6 weeks they were concerned it wasn't going to show much. But there it was clear as day my little chocolate chip was on the screen and I was able to hear a little fetal heartbeat 💓 My heart smiled. As I went back to my room to wait to see the doctor the nurse came in to give me antibiotics. A few minutes later the ER doctor tells me I had a tubal pregnancy, my heart stopped I have heard about it but didn't quite understand what it was. As he went on to explain what a tubal pregnancy was I started to cry. I let my fiancé know immediately. He drove 5 hours quicker than I have ever thought he could and was by my side. Sunday morning they took me in for emergency surgery. And as they removed my right Fallopian tube they found a second embryo in my uterus. They couldn't save that one either. 

As I lay here still in the hospital heartbroken💔 and in pain. My fiancé by my side I can't help but feel hopeless and disappointed in myself. Although they say there's nothing I did wrong I can't help but think what didn't I do right why I couldn't have saved my babies. 

I know we will eventually try again but this hurts like hell and I'm not sure how I'm going to get through this.