I will try to keep this brief. Basically I had a really traumatic birth experience. I was induced at 40+3 with cytotec. 3 hours after my first dose was given I was having strong contractions only 1 minute apart. I had to be given medicine to slow my contractions and was in so much pain I had to get my epidural at only 3 cm. My epidural didn't work all the way so I still felt a lot of pain in between my hips. I vomited every time they turned me. After 14 hours of this I started pushing and pushed for 3 hours. They had to use the vacuum on my baby and 2 nurses pushed on my belly while I was pushing to help get her out. I had a second degree tear and the doctor sewed me up but I started to hemorrhage. I threw up and ripped my stitches so they had to sew me up again, my epidural gave me a hematoma that covered my entire lower back. I ended up being taken to the ICU to receive 5 pints of blood and 3 bags of plasma, I was in organ failure and they were close to putting me into a medically induced coma and putting me on a ventilator. I made a quick recovery and was out of the ICU in 24 hours but had to have blood tests everyday for the next 3 days they kept me in the hospital. I came out of the hospital battered and bruised (I'll attach a photo of what my arms looked like after all the IV's).

It brings me to this, I'm 4 weeks postpartum and physically ok but mentally I'm feeling a little off. I'm exhausted like all new moms, I don't think I'm having postpartum depression as I looked up the symptoms and aren't displaying any of them. The major thing is that I don't want people to come to my house to visit. I'm ok leaving the house and taking my daughter to see people but the thought of people coming into my home makes me anxious, people have been offering to come sit with the baby so I can nap or take a shower and that makes me uncomfortable too. It's specifically my parents and in laws that give me this feeling of anxiety. I'm wondering if because I didn't properly process what happened to me if I'm having some sort of post traumatic stress going on and every time our parents visit they bring up what happened and keep talking about how the doctors kept telling them that I was close to dying. I'm sorry this is so long but does anyone know anything about post traumatic stress or had a similar situation happen? I have my 5 week postpartum appointment on Monday and will ask my doctor as well.