Relationship and Sex Problems??

So the guy I'm with, we've been together for 11 months. He's always been asking for sex but he's told me he wants me to initiate it. He wants to cum first instead of me cumming first. I was touching him but I didn't make him cum. I find it hard to do because he takes like 20 minutes and my arm gets tired. I also gave him oral but during all this his roommate and his roommate's gf we're in the room. We started to have sex quietly but stopped. I think it's rude to do stuff with other people in the room. So we went to bed and in the morning he asked for sex in the shower but I'm not aroused so he uses body wash as lube. I'm just not into it and when he asks I get like unenthusiastic about it and say ughh 🙄 because like I'm not into it. I don't know if all girls are like this but I don't get turned on easily. He has a higher sex drive than me. So when I said I didn't want  sex he told me that me being unenthusiastic about it and me not touching him first makes him feel like I don't want to have sex with him. I told him you can't just put it in and go at it. That was it. I'm pissed and afraid he'll leave me for not wanting sex when he wants it. Another thing is we've been together so long and he won't make it official and call me his gf. l feel like when we hang out and him and his roommate play xbox I'm so bored and it looks like I'm waiting for dick but I don't. I want a relationship and I've told him that before and he tells me he's with me but he doesn't want a gf. I'm talking to him tonight but how do I bring this up? What do you think about this?