It really hurts. I'm 18 years old and I never had the love from my dad, well at least felt it. I was abused my entire life growing up.. treated differently than my brother. After my parents divorce it only got worse . The abuse got worse. My mom knew everything because I'd call her and tell her and she didn't care. She lived 2 minutes away. So since a child I've been looking for a mans love. I thought I finally had it but he always wanted attention from other girls . I loved him so much. But I came to the conclusion that I don't love myself. My dad broke me. With his words and physically. He'd call me out of my name .. get drunk every night and scream at me through my locked door. August of last year I finally ran away from it all. And there's no more running for me to do because the memories severely still haunt me. And I still want that fatherly love.