irregular menstrual cycles

Okay... so ever since I started having a period (around 15 years ago...damn that makes me feel old 😂) they have been irregular. I'll get af one month, not have her for 1-2, have her again, etc... there's been times when I've went an entire year without a period, had af for a month straight, and even times when my periods were regulated (every month) for a year or so and would suddenly stop coming. Recently they've been coming monthly for probably the past 6 months.... I really do not believe on taking birth control to regulate my period. It's a fear mostly... I'm afraid taking bc will screw my body up so bad that I'll never conceive. Anyway... I also have been wanting to go to the gyno to be checked because I'm wondering if I might have pcos. But I'm so afraid that they'll end up telling me I'm infertile. I would die of a broken heart if I was told I couldn't have kids. That is what I want more than anything in this world... so I'm stressing to the max trying to convince myself to go and that everything will be okay, but I'm petrified at the same time. Ugh!!! I don't know what to do 😔