Sad Warning.

So today was bad day. The joy of motherhood had just hit me, it had hit me right in my chest. It made my heart swell with joy. I hadn't know that this kind of love existed until that day. With every cramp I worried, was that normal? And then I would pass gas and laugh at my silly self for getting all worked up. But today I found myself in the ER. Why was there so much blood. Our babies heart was supposed to have started beating, the cute app on my phone just told me that it's spleen was beginning to form. It was the size of a chocolate chip so cute. But my hcg levels were too low for 6 weeks. The doctor told me to come back in 2 days. But I already knew. My husband tried to tell me that we were fine it probably wasn't a big deal. I can not stop crying. The cramps hurt too much and all the blood? There's no way this isn't a big deal. I lost my first baby today. I'm not sure why. My heart is so heavy. Sorry for the long post. I can't bring myself to tell my family yet. But I needed to talk to someone. I pray none of you ever go through this and that your babies are born happy and so healthy. Thanks from reading.