What should I do???

Question

My fiancé and I have had a rocky past. But we've always managed to pull through. We are now 14w3d expectant. Last night after hanging out with friends, he comes home drunk and starts arguing with me. He said that he feels like all we do is fight and have nothing in common anymore (mostly talking about the fact that I don't agree with him depending on booze so much or times that he spends out with his buddies until 6 am!). And says he's always been this way, and I knew that when I met him, so I shouldn't expect him to change. He continued to say that he doesn't think we're going to make it much longer because we can never agree on things and it seems like I want to do is change him.
When we started dating, I was in the midst of getting out of an abusive marriage. I was a mess. I drank until I would pass out just to forget the pain I'd been in. I cleaned up my act late last year and went back to college to work on a career for myself. Since then I haven't been more than slightly tipsy (and those occasions are rare). My fiancé on the other hand grew up in a broken family and lived with his alcoholic dad, and still liked to get drunk every few weeks or so. He slowed down a lot this summer, focusing more on me and his career. He was especially good during the first bit of my pregnancy, but now he says it's all he really cares about (drinking with his friends), and he's tired of having to walk on eggshells around me. 
I've been super patient with him, not yelling when it happens, just say that I don't want our baby to grow up in a similar environment that he had to, and I'm nervous about it happening too often. 
Should I move out and be a single mom??? I'm terrified at the thought of it, but it doesn't seem like even wants to make an effort to do anything different with his life (he's turning 30 in the spring). 
Help

Answer

He needs help from a therapist. The thing is, if he doesn't see a problem with it, then he won't change. You can't make him change and you can't expect him to change. You can only control your own life and focus on what you can change. Which is your living situation with him. Once you do that, he may realize that he's losing a lot and needs to get help.

Answer

It's beyond time for him to grow up. That staying out all night until 6am is ridiculous. Going out with his friends is one thing but nightly or even weekly....no way. Then on top of all that, the drinking. He's a full fledged alcoholic and he needs treatment. At some point if he goes to therapy you may have a chance at making the relationship work but it doesn't sound like he's anywhere close to realizing he needs help. You've gone back to school and you're making progress. Your child needs at least one sober motivated parent so he/she is counting on you. You don't need him and what he's doing to get in your way or make you lose focus. Dealing with his antics is a waste of your time and energy. Don't let him suck the life from you. Personally I'd leave since he's demonstrated he's not willing to change. You're already a single mother honestly.

Answer

He is right.  If you try to change him and pressure him to live up the potential you see in him but that he isn't interested in embracing it won't work out.  Men need to feel respected and accepted as they are.  Sounds like you two were living similar lives when you got together, but that you are quickly out growing him, and currently want different things.  If he is open to it, I would recommend counseling together and see if you can break through resistance and reconcile gap of desire, but otherwise, probably move on ....

Answer

I think u should move out and do for u and ur child to grow up in a healthy enviroment it sounds to me he is not willing to make changes for yall so u will need to make them for urself and ur child.

Answer

Don't jump to an outcome. Take a few days maybe a week for urself, away from him. Limit conversation with him. Tell him u need to think where this is going and what would be the safest choice for the child since right now it's not him. Allow him realize what life would be like without u and the baby. He needs to come back to Earth. Also... do u know the reason he is drinking? He might have problems or even be scared of having a baby. Be patient. Take steps but do not automatically think "single mom!!!". Take baby steps and see where it's going. We are here for u. Good luck

Answer

It's a difficult one if he doesn't see alcohol use as a problem in his life. People don't have to be raging drunks for alcohol to be having a negative impact on their lives. 
Well done you for pulling your life together and moving forward in a positive way! ❤️👌🏽 
I guess try to explain why you want him to change. Because you love him and want a family together. That's a beautiful thing and if he wants to choose alcohol before that there isn't much you can do other than accept it or leave him to the bottle xx

What should I do???

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