opinions?

Ok this is going to be long. I can't perfectly explain/describe everything but I'll do key points. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. He moved in with me and my disabled mother that I care for. (She's not mentally disabled or anything like that she has multiple invisible illnesses.) they HATE each other. There has been screaming/cussing hateful arguments because my mom says he's lazy and not good enough or smart enough for me. He and I both work full time. He dropped out of highschool. He has a different sense of humor than most people. He thinks it's funny to talk about our sex life(he also was my first kiss/ the man that took my virginity.)  which used to bother me but I understand that's his sense of humor I only ask he doesn't do it around my mother or at work. Still sometimes he does. She says he is verbally abusive towards me. He says things like "you should have already done that" "fuck you" "what do I get if I do?" "I'll only do it if I get ___" it's his sense of humor and later he tells me "I was just fucking with you!" I'm always the one that has to compromise. He's so sweet sometimes and I do love him. I know he would never physically hurt me. But mentally I'm concerned. I'm changing. I don't know if it's good or bad but I don't say things I would normally say to someone who is being mean towards me. When I tell him what he says is bothering me he always just tells me he's playing I need to take a joke. I try to explain I don't find it funny and he tells me "toughen up princess" or I hurt my knee at work the other day and we were walking through the store (he's 6'4" I'm 5'2") he was walking too fast and I asked him to slow down "walk faster princess! Keep up with me buttercup!" But he does actually slow down. Half the time I know he's just playing and I can handle that but when people hear him and hug me and tell me I don't deserve to be treated like that, it's a problem and he just doesn't care. I do care what others think. He doesn't. This happens pretty regularly but not constantly if that makes sense. He says things like "only if I get__" but then I don't give him anything and he helps anyway. Is he mentally abusive? I'm so confused.