How do you find the strength to try again after a miscarriage and an ectopic? 😔
My husband and I got married in October of last year. Surprisingly, we got pregnant right away. I found out on a Sunday night and miscarried the very following day. I didn't really know how to feel but I tried to not be too upset. I realized how much I had wanted a baby after that. I have endometriosis so my dr told me that it's very common to have issues sometimes with carrying with endometriosis. My husband and I waited about 3 months after this to try again. 2 months later, we were pregnant again. We were excited yet hesitant to be too excited just until time had passed and we knew everything was ok. A week and a half passed and i started having horrible cramps and pains. I knew something was wrong. Long story short. I had an ectopic pregnancy and was rushed into emergency surgery. It took 6 weeks to recover physically. That was in July. Some days I still get really sad just feeling like a failure. Looking at my husband knowing how excited he was and feeling like I failed him. Like I couldn't make him a father. Looking at myself and seeing myself with no baby just breaks my heart sometimes. Most days I'm ok. And I know it's not my fault and it is all out of my control. But then there are days like today where I feel down about it. How do you ever try again? How do you have the faith that everything might be ok this time? I can't go through that surgery again. I don't think I could handle feeling this way again. I know God has his plans and does everything in his timing, just some days my heart and brain don't want to remember that. Waiting on our rainbow..🌈
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