Sex as a mom

I love my husband, i find him attractive. Lately though i have had zero sex drive. We still have sex but its once a week if even that. I know the majority of it is me. I work part time, the rest of the time im taking care of our one year old, cleaning the house, going to dr apts, doing church stuff, doing mom stuff ya know. Most of the time im tired, exhausted, other times i just stright up dont want to but suck it up and do it.

Some of my areas of struggle or i want affection from my husband, now he does give it to me however sex is always tied to it, hence why i dont want to have it. Sometimes i just want to be loved on,cuddle, and hugged with out any sexual comment or moved involved. Ive explained this to him, we have even been going to a marriage class where they just disccused that females need this and it went right over his head.

I also perfer to have sex at night after my lil one goes to bed, when i am wind down an relax, id rather have sex then. I understand he wants spontaneous i get that but for instance right now my lil one is sleeping, hes been sleeping a while he will wake up soon. I have things that need to get done.

My other issue is Bjs. I HATE bJs, i had a horrible experience once and just made me grossed out for life .......now i know thats not my husbands fault. I will give them everyonce and (if im going to be honest) bluemoon. I can t even have him cum in my mouth i literally gag till the point of almost throwing up. Oddly enough though he says im really good at it. I also perfer to do it after he showers (bc im grossed out that they piss out of the same thing they expect us to suck on, an lets be real, they dont put toilet paper near the urinals, so their dick is sitting in boxers (or whatever) that they have not washed) ya im that chic but i swear if you had the experience i did, you would feel the same.

At the end of the day my husband is fustrated with me, and i cant blame him. I feel aweful and i dont know what to do to fix it. I dont know if its just a phase that new moms go thru, if other women are going through the same, or those who have. How can i shake this drought?!? How can i get to feelin like myself and enjoy sex more.