What would you do?

Question

My 29 year old boyfriend has a 40 year old friend who is completely dependent on him & I hate it. This guy asks him for help with everything & can't do anything for himself. He's even been living on my boyfriend's couch for months. My boyfriend agrees with me that this guy is too dependent on him, but he won't do/say anything about it & he gets annoyed when I mention it. Anyway, they went out last night because this guy is constantly begging him to go to a club with him so he can meet girls & he has no other friends. My boyfriend and I had been arguing all day yesterday via text. Somewhere in the conversation, I texted him, "have fun with your pet. Don't forget his leash."  My boyfriend then replied, "I will, bitch."  I feel completely disrespected. I didn't say anything after that. He texted me a few hours later at about midnight just to say, "hi" & nothing else. I never replied to that either. I don't know what my next course of action should be. Any ideas on the best, mature way to handle it?

Answer

Tell him to kick rocks... He's not worth it. No man should call a female a bitch and get away with it.

Answer

If you want to be mature about it, stop talking over text. He sounds like a nice guy, actually. He is just trying to help someone and probably feels guilty if he tells the guy to leave. My husband is the same way. He really had a hard time saying no to people that are in need. I can understand being done with the situation. Talk to him- not through texting or calling, talk to him in person. And don't argue. Try not to raise your voice, but have a discussion and tell him it feels like he's choosing you over his friend. Tell him he's making you feel like that friend's feelings are more important than yours because that's really what you're upset about. Boys don't want drama and they don't like to be nagged at... So just talk to him if you really love him and your relationship is important.
And yeah, he called you a bitch, but it sounded like you were trying to cut low too. You hurt his feelings just as much as he hurt yours.

Answer

Not that he is justified in his choice of words...but you called his friend a pet. That's pretty disrespectful too. I doubt I'd be okay with my bf saying that about my best friend, and I'd probably throw out some pretty nasty insults if he did. Maybe you should at least try to talk it out with him before giving up.

Answer

It's time to move on

Answer

Hell no, he can call you a bitch but can't say shit to his pet? Absolutely not acceptable. Go meet someone better girl because that's what hiu deserve!

Answer

Well that was a little mean of you to txt him abt his friend being his pet. It's kinda like that saying if you can dish it, you can take it. Or at least that's how I see things. At the end of the day I mean he's your bf, he's entitled to having friends which ever kind he chooses to have is entirely up to him. It's your decision tho if you want to deal w/ that or move on. I mean if his friend is that big of a deal then maybe back off for a while & see if things change. I definitely don't agree w/ his friend wanting him to go to the club tho. Single men have different motives when it comes to going out. That's a big no no in my book. Hopefully things get better for you two 😊

Answer

Did his friend lose his job? Get divorced? Lose his house? Idk the backstory sooo...it sounds like your bf is just trying to be supportive to his friend tho. I would have a talk about respect and boundaries tho. If he can't give you the support and respect you deserve then he doesn't deserve you.

Answer

Calling you a bitch is unacceptable. Completely over the line. You didn't insult him or call him a nasty name. You commented on the situation and insulted his free-loading no-good "friend". I would definitely be pissed if my husband called me that. That's over the line.

Answer

No way he needs to be talking to his over dependant "friend" like that NOT you. He's taking his frustration out on you and that's not cool. He sounds like a punk and you should leave him with his pet and go get a real man who will speak up for you and not down to you. Good luck!

Answer

You were upset about the old free loading sorry ass friend of his and you clearly made a mean comment that probably deserved a mean reaction. Have you talk to him about this guy? Maybe you have to make a decision of what you CAN control.  I would talk to your boyfriend, have him talk to his friend and give that man a deadline to get out or get his shit together. If he supports his friend and not you then I would have to make a decision on my next step. how long has this guy been living with you guys?

What would you do?

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