what if your SO said this to you?

Question

My boyfriend (30) lost his job in the last week of September. He was 1 week shy of transferring to a different department. He told the wrong people and it got back to the boss who fired him. He was still on his 6 months probation, hence the reason he was waiting to transfer. Therefore the boss could fire him without reason. He's collecting unemployment but it's not enough. I am the only one working & things are getting tough not to mention we have his 2 kids from a previous marriage ages 5 & 8, ( I also want my own but now that is being put on hold too due to financial problems) so, I texted him to avoid an argument while he was in the living room: "Christmas is around the corner you are supposed to be up & calling or going by to check on these jobs by any means. I'm ready to set a goal & knock these bills out & get back on top."

He replied in person NOT rude but said : Mind your business I got this. My dad wasnt around to teach me how to be a man and what I learned from my grandpa is old and outdated so please be patient with me. I will check on the jobs I applied for. I'm not going to go out and get any old job and be miserable making only 10 or 11 dollars.

I'm only 23 but, to me a man should go out and work 2 jobs if necessary to make sure his home is taken care of. Am I wrong? He seems to not know this or is just lazy. I can't tell.

Answer

Don't even get me started... that kind of BS makes my blood boil! It absolutely IS your business especially when you are the one who's supporting him and HIS KIDS!

Answer

Your husband sounds immature as fuck. Mine was having a bad time and took a job as a dominos driver. It's not great cash, but he pulls in something and that's really all anyone can ask. If he's not even willing to take a lowly job until he gets a new one he needs a kick in the ass

Answer

I would shovel human shit with my bare hands to provide for my son. 
He should put his pride to the side and take whatever he can find and keep applying for other jobs. The longer he's put of work the worse he will feel.

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How is this none of your buisiness.

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I do agree with you. I wouldn't get too upset with his response, he might just be embarrassed to be without a job.

For now let's say he just doesn't know better. I'd sit him down and explain he needs to know that if you're living together you need to contribute together. If he still isn't helping then it may just be laziness.

Answer

Hes being lazy with a hint of self loathing and disappointment and sounds like hes developed depression and lack of motivation a job is a job no matter how much you make at least you are getting paid and a job doesnt have to be permenant he can get one making 10/11 and still look for something better

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I would tell him to go and take the 10 an hour job. It's something while he looks for a better job. He should suck it up and get to work.

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Sounds like he is lazy,  a real man like u said will work 2 to 3 jobs to provide for his children and wife!!!

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My husband did the same thing. He said he wasn't getting a crappy job because then he'd have to have 2 jobs and work day and night. And well, a month later here we are and he has two jobs. One pays 10.50 and one pays like 9. They both suck. He doesn't work full time at either because jobs around here are limited and with me not being able to work, it's hard. We also have two kids. He still complains everyday but eventually he sucked up his pride and is doing it, for our children, and our home.

Answer

A man, and a woman, should do anything they can to be able to provide for the house. Especially when there are kids involved.
It's probably pride that is stopping him, which is no excuse. It's not fair that he is putting you under this pressure and stress.
I would recommend sitting down face to face with him, letting him know how you feel, and that coming up to Christmas, there are loads of jobs that he can do, which will help you both give your kids a better Christmas. And the great thing is that it will be a temporary job as it's only to help with Christmas rush. Then in the new year, he can search for something that he is more interested in.

what if your SO said this to you?

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