Contradicting Feelings

Okay so I need some reassurance here because I don't really know any other resources for support.

To lay down the basics - I am a devoted Christian [not the 'i hate gays' 'you'll go to hell if you don't repent!' kind] and for about 2 years I was in an unhealthy relationship with my ex. I was naive and we had spoken about marriage etc but I knew he was scared from an ex and was afraid to commit just yet. Anyway I broke my life long promise and showed him my commitment by yes - giving him my virginity - seems cliche I know. But we really were in love and I loved having sex with him and looked forward to any form of intimacy. Anyway, my ex was completely closed to even just supporting my choice to be Christian and eventually we broke up because I realised having a balanced life would be too difficult not only with kids, but feeling like I'm living two different lives. I had decided that I had made a flaw in decisions and was too quick to give in on my chastity promise that since I was a 5 year old girl, I had always kept till my ex. I had gone through a process of grief and feeling the need for a restart and rediscovered my passion and chose to never again have sex unless my partner was also my a husband... This is also because having had sex in our relationship made it more difficult to make the right choices.

Fast forward a year [literally, it has been almost exactly 12 Mo the since breaking up] and I've been with my current partner for about 10 months. I had known him before being with my ex and it felt like a miracle . He is also a devoted Christian and a great family person, always makes me smile and even said he wanted to date me since we first met a few years ago. Essentially, he is a replica of me but male and better looking, ha.

Anyway to get to the part I need help with - we don't have sex but we are still intimate inn all sorts of other ways but I found that I am just not as into it as I was before and I am not sure if it is because I still feel the need to reject sex so strongly that any sexual activity just makes me feel guilt, or is it something else?? He is the love of my life and even though we argue time to time, and he gets a bit too much for me to handle, I can't imaging walking away from this.

P.s. my partner and I want to get married but can't afford it yet and he just haven't got the balls to officially ask yet and I'm not the one to propose.