Postpartum depression

Michelle

I just had my first daughter 4 days ago. I have 2 wonderful boys. And with them I never had postpartum depression, but with my little girl I do. And I just hate it. I really do. What can I do to make it go away? Or does it go away on its own?

I cry for everything. Nothing silly of course, more like health issues like my daughter was born with jaundice, and they lend us a special blue light blanket for her jaundice to take home. I been on it 6 hours each side and she had a docs appointment yesterday and it went up instead of down. I felt like I failed. Worst feeling ever, and then I go to lactation class, I see all these mom's succeeding in breastfeeding their babies and mine doesn't want anything to do with my breast (nipples are also cracked and bleeding, so it hurts when I try to breast feed). I also feel like I failed once again. I just feel like I'm doing everything wrong, nothing is coming out right. Although for my breast milk I have been pumping out milk and I have been successful in getting at least 2 ounces each breast. Just sad that I don't get to have that experience and bonding time with my daughter. I just wish this symptoms go away soon, I would like to enjoy my daughter and my kids. Not worry alot. Ugh. Sorry for the rant. Lol I guess I just needed to let it out.