Am I over reacting?

Question

I am 5 weeks post partum and my husband has been wanting sex and sexual favors but I had a tear and don't want to risk infection or tearing again. Anyways I have been feeling down on my body appearance after the baby. And last night I found an accidental screen shot on his phone of porn. I'm honestly devastated and disgusted. Am I overthinking this. Should I be feeling this way?

Answer

In my opinion, yes, but that's because porn doesn't bother me. I think you should talk to him and tell you how you feel as far as your insecurity in your appearance and how his watching porn is effecting you and go from there.

Answer

Ignore the rude comments. You have the right to feel the way you do. I completely understand how you feel. Post partum recovery is a huge adjustment. I don't feel sexy for my husband at all, & I'm trying to get used to my different body.. I would feel upset too if my husband watched porn especially during this time when I'm adjusting to this major change. You can try doing other sexual things for him (if you're into that) besides actual sex. My husband wanted sex since I've had our son & I just pleased him in other ways. Hope this helps.

Answer

Defff not! I would not be okay with my SO watching porn. He should only wanna see me, watch me, hear me not some other bitch on a fucking screen. That is all I'd think about  "is he thinking about that chick in porn while making love to me!!" Everyone has their OWN views with porn and this is mine.

Answer

You know, I'm not sure the prob would bother me.  But I absolutely get how you feel about the sec thing.  I'm a mom of 3.  Tore each time, some worse than others.  It's scary to get back in the groove.  It took me a while, with my first especially, to get comfortable with my body again.  I promise it gets better and you guys can get back to where you were.  But it takes time, and only you can say how much.  Don't let him push you.  If you're not ready, he needs to respect that.  Good luck!

Answer

Why are so many people so upsetting about porn Jeeze . 
Nothing wrong with looking at it. 
I watch it occationally and don't mind the hubs doing it either.

Answer

I think that feeling self conscious about your body is totally normal and is something you should share with your husband because I guarantee ( and also by the sounds of it)he is still very attracted to you and he still wants to jump you. I don't think the porn should have anything to do with it. Especially if he just accidentally screenshot it while watching . He was watching porn before you, while he dated you, while he's been married to you, while you were pregnant and will continue to for the rest of his life lol most men do. Don't let that effect your self esteem it has nothing to do with you.

Answer

Hi Ashley,
First and foremost CONGRATS! 
Secondly, I don't think you're "over reacting" I think it is hard to adjust to your new life considering your hormones are all over the place.(even if you don't think so). Its easy to feel hurt, insecure, by finding that in his phone, when pre pregnancy it wouldn't have bothered you much. Your hormones are not at their normal levels so your "reactions" will be DIFFERENT then your "normal self" .

From his perspective, he hasn't been able to have you, the way he use to, and maybe the screenshot has just assisted him in relieving himself since he can't have the best thing ... YOU :)

When your dr. Gives you the Go, I think you should surprise him and have a night of intimacy ... that YOU are comfortable with. 
Maybe it's just kissing/touching or perhaps it leads to gentle intercourse ... but do what YOU ARE READY FOR and be sure to make it about reconnecting with him and not solely pleasing him. It will also help you fee better about your post pregnanct image because you will see that he still loves you the way he did before, if not MORE!

Best of luck hun, don't be hard on yourself , in time your emotions will feel "typical" again.

Answer

I'd be furious. 
But I also think five weeks is a little long to make him wait for little sexual favors such as blowjobs. Or a nice makeup session. 
You don't need to have sex, just spice things up, cuddle.. grab him and kiss him. 
I know how u feel I hate my stomach right now. My stretch marks are gross but in order to feel better I try and get ready to avoid looking at my tummy area and how awful I think it looks. I've also been dieting so my clothes fit fine now. But still a little self conscious

Answer

I don't think you are. Everyone has their own take on porn. Some women are okay with it, some aren't. I don't think we should judge other women on how they feel about it. I am also five weeks postpartum and I feel you on the body issue. I feel like a blob. It's almost a defeating feeling. But, our bodies took 9 months to grow our miracles, it's gonna take a bit to go back. Talk to him about how you feel. He clearly still wants you, even if you don't feel attractive. Best of luck!

Answer

I found porn on my husbands phone a while back. At first I was devastated but I realized he loves me, only me and it's better than cheating. We don't have tons of sex and are both okay with that but he still has needs. I just asked him to please try to be with me before resorting to porn and wanking it.

Second, it's normal to feel self conscious and I am in the same boat. My tits are flappy, stomach is saggy, and I am too tired to even THINK about sex or helping him out.. sorry.

Am I over reacting?

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