detailed birth story- didn't go as planned

At 39 weeks my doctor did a second membrane sweep and told me I was 3cm dilated. He was concerned that with the history of babies getting their massive shoulders stuck during birth in my family, that the same thing could happen to my son because every measurement we've ever had showed he was large. He didn't want me to go to 41 weeks but the hospital had a wait list and still didn't have an induction date for me. So he told me to show at the hospital at 40+1 because it was a day he was the on call doctor and to make up any excuse to be admitted and he'd get me in for an unscheduled induction.

I was super embarrassed about the whole idea. On my due date I still had no new signs of labor so I decided to take a laxative and clear my system out (don't do it ladies unless you want to stay up all night with stomach aches and poop during labor). It may be a coincidence since I was 3cm 80% effaced, but I'm thinking the laxative may have worked for me like the way castor oil does. Wasn't my intentions for it to cause labor though lol.

The next morning I went in to the hospital complaining of back pain... which wasn't a total lie. My back had been hurting all night. When they hooked me up to the monitors it revealed I was having contractions 7 minutes apart!! I was shocked since I wasn't feeling them. Within 30 minutes of being monitored and waiting for my doctor I started to feel my stomach tighten and could distinctively tell when a contraction was hitting. I wish I had just gone home and came back (though this was in DC and I lived an hour away). I wanted a natural labor and should've known that my doctor deciding to keep me this early in my labor would've meant they'd want to still use pitocin.

An hour after being moved to l&d my doctor ordered pitocin but I declined it. I had been progressing and my contractions were now 5 minutes apart. I did not want to be induced in the first place and to me it was an answered prayer that I had gone into labor on my own. 

I'm going to skip a very large part of my labor and just say I had a horrible experience with my nurse. She wanted me to remain laying back in bed, though I was experiencing back labor and needed to walk and lean. They would not let me remove the monitors saying it didn't matter what the hospital policy was because it was up to the doctor and she told me I wasn't allowed to use the bathroom or they'd put a cathater in me. What?? I wasn't allowed to move! Finally another nurse came to check on me and she let me get up to use the bathroom, let me walk around the room, and even got a birthing ball. As soon as my original nurse came back she told me I wasn't allowed to move on the ball -_- I swear she was trying to make things difficult so I'd just lay in bed. My doctor and the nurse kept pushing an epidural and pitocin. Why? Speed things up? Make their experience easier? 

After 7 hours of labor and now having contractions 3-4 minutes apart for the last hour I accepted an epidural. I was so mad and frustrated that I couldn't move to deal with the pain. The pain didn't feel good. It was an intense, intense, intense pressure that brought tears to my eyes. I couldn't speak through the contractions and I had to focus on breathing, but I still felt I could do it. I focused on the 3 minute breaks inbetween. But not being able to move in a way I felt was natural was too much. I'm not gonna lie though... that epidural is awesome! No pain, but still felt the pressure of the contractions.

After 10 hours of labor my doctor told me I was only 6cm and because my contractions were still 3-4 minutes apart they really wanted to use pitocin. I accepted.

My contractions never got closer than 3 minutes. Finally, 12 hours into labor I started to feel my sons head down low. It felt like I had to poop. Soon every contraction started to get uncomfortable. The epidural still took the pain away, but I had to squeeze my mom and husbands hand and try and breathe. I told my mom to call for the doctor because I had to push. It's an incredible feeling. I couldn't not push. When th doctor finally made it he took one look and told me to start pushing. I thought that women who reach the point of getting the natural signal to push had short pushing experience. Apparently not always. I pushed for an hour and a half and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I pushed so hard that I burst capillaries under my eyes. I tried focusing on pushing with my butt like they told me but it was so hard. I started hyperventilating between pauhes so they have me oxygen.

I am so happy that I had a different doctor that evening because my original one would have called for a c-section. I had 2nd degree tearing both up and down and had hemorrhaging after birth. Honestly, the hemorrhaging was 1000x worse than labor. They put 5 giant horse pills in my butt and had to physically break up massive blood clots with their fingers and push them out of me. I have never screamed in pain before, but that was the most pain I've ever experienced. But I would do it all over again to have my son!

At 10:29pm on October 11th I gave birth to James Matthew Perry, 8lb4oz and 21in