need my life back

Ok so this is my first pregnancy and definitely last. I always dreamed of being pregnant and of course having a perfect pregnancy but I was totally wrong. pregnancy is definitely not for everyone. It's absolutely not for me. I got pregnant in September I am now nine weeks and three days and since I found out October 12th at four weeks and three days it's been a nightmare. I am a fighter of anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD, and depression. I've dealt with it for a long five years (never took meds) I wasn't always this way and was determined to beat it with out relying on meds. I went through all kinds of therapies, massages, acupuncture, yoga everything. I was 8 months clear of no panic attacks, yes I had anxiety but much more manageable. So my fiancé and I began trying for a baby. Took 8 months and the October 12th came I was positive and that's where I lost myself. Immediately the anxiety the panic attacks and horrible depression kicked in. Now I know my doctors and a lot of friends say it's "normal" but it's not to the extent I have it. It absolutely has disabled me. I've been so sick with nausea (no vomiting) thank god. I would have at least two panic attacks a day for a while finally slowed down. But the worst part is I don't leave my house. I've completely lost myself. I begin yoga, meditation next week in hopes to lift my spirits. Anyone else struggling like me? I am praying everyday that the second trimester will be better for me. I know A lot of you are going to suggest meds but I don't want them then and especially now. Doctor said it'll cause baby to have withdrawals it isn't to to serious but I do live with a fiancé in recovery and I can't do that to my baby. Any NATURAL REMEDIES please help me out. I need my life back and get out of this house.