It's been a rough three weeks. I had a tough birthing experience. My son was in the NICU for a week after he was born. I'm so tired. I don't feel like a Mom at all, and I don't feel connected to my son. My milk supply is basically nonexistent despite the fact that I have done basically everything I can think of to keep it up; twice weekly appointments with a lactation consultant, drinking a ton of water, eating oatmeal and lactation cookies constantly. My son gets maybe one bottle of my breast milk every few days. I cry myself to sleep every night while my husband tends to my son, and when I wake up at 5am for my turn, it feels like a chore. It's like I can't wait until my husband wakes up and I can hand him off to him again. It's a horrible way to feel but I don't know why I feel that way. It's like, I'm not the same person anymore? People keep asking "How is the baby!? How's the baby?!" But no one thinks, "hey, you just gave birth and pushed an 8 pound baby out that had to go to the NICU....how are YOU doing???" But it's like I'm invisible. I'm so tired. I could nap all day while my son sleeps and it's still not enough. I'm afraid to ask for help. I don't want people to think I'm complaining or I can't handle being a mom, despite the fact that he was planned and I wanted to be a mom so bad. It's like I regret asking to have a baby. I feel awful for feeling this way but I can't shake it, no matter how many times I say "I'm fine" to everyone.