Heartbroken and exhausted! *RANT*

Every month is getting more and more depressing.... Each time that red devil shows its face i just want to cry... Over 2 years now and still nothing! I feel so broken and hurt.. I want nothing more than tgose 2 lines to appear... I feel it will never happen. I feel less of a woman to noy be able to do what my body was made to do... It breaks my heart to see the disappointed look in my husbands eyes everytime its a no.... I try not to think about it, not to try, but still theres this costant reminder that comes back to tell me it didnt happen.... Then to see so many others getting pregnant and having their little ones.. It eats me up inside... To see those girls who never wanted kids, who didnt try, who want to abort,all get pregnant while i struggle every month... It kills me.... I am depressed. I am tired. I am heartbroken..... God, i wish i knew what your plan was for me... I am trying not to be upset with you, though it can be hard. My faith is with you, and i hope you bless me with a little one of my own soon. Idk how much more disappointment i can handle:'(