Glow said test

Sarai • Mommy of 3 amazing teenagers!
So Glow said to test and I did and it came out Negative... AF due on the 23rd of this week.. so annoyed .. I took a test a few days back and it came out negative right away so I just left it on the counter and when I went to look at 1 hour later it had a very faint line.. ugh I'm not stupid I know that was an Evap cuz if I was pregnant it would have popped up like fire... just getting really down and feeling discouraged.. after my miscarriage I had hope we could get pregnant again but it's been 8 months of no success I know some women have tried for longer but I had a tubal reversal and so the fact that I even got pregnant the first time was a miracle! 
I'm just trying to not lose hope but it's hard and the other thing is I'm 35 and i told my SO if we were not pregnant before I'm 36 then I didn't want to try anymore. It made him sad but that's how I feel I really don't want to be pushing 40 and still trying 😩😩😩 - encouraging words welcome 😔