Am I Wrong For Saying No?

Question

I've been debating on posting this. But I finally decided that I needed some opinions. So, I've been with my S/O for almost 2years. And I've had Mirena for 3years. The Mirena has lowered my sex drive. I rarely ever get horny. And I have a harder time getting wet. So it has made me a bit depressed. Anyways, there have been times where my S/O has wanted sex and I have said no and he has respected that. But there have been a little more times where he just makes a face when I said no and says, "I promise it'll just be quick. Please?" And he won't really take no for an answer. He'll keep pushing it. I usually just give in. And I've told him that I don't want sex right now and I keep saying no, but when we do, I feel horrible cause he hits the right spot and I do enjoy having sex a little bit. But like I don't know what to do anymore when he gets pushy. Because when I've stood my ground, he gets upset and I feel like a HUGE jerk. So am I wrong for saying no?

Answer

I'm not saying you're wrong for saying no. That's your choice and you shouldn't feel bad at all for sticking to how you feel.

That being said, I've been in the same place. Mirena and all. I realized I was saying no every time and I didn't feel like I was being fair because I did enjoy it when we would I just didn't feel like getting started. I kind of made it my secret new year resolution in 2015 to say yes right away every time. I just went along with it and pretended to be into it until soon I found that I was ACTUALLY getting into it. The more sex we had, the more my sex drive started to get higher. By March that year we were having sex pretty much daily (and this is after being together for 10 years) and I even started initiating it. We kept it up until I got pregnant (planned. I had Mirena taken out) and now it's not really every day but it's often enough that we're both happy.

I also started using coconut oil for lube and that helped the dry problem a lot. You only need a little and it feels light and smooth

I don't know if that will help you but that's how I got over that and it may be something you want to try. Either way do what makes you happy.

Answer

You're not wrong for saying no. But you also need to understand his side. Take it from someone who's partner has a low sex drive. We can go months not having sex and I begin to feel depressed and unloved and unattractive. So while you are of course entitled to say no, bear in mind your partner may also be feeling depressed from not having sex

Answer

Perhaps talk to your doctor about the lower sex drive side effect and other birth control options.

Am I Wrong For Saying No?

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